Making the most of your IT department ....

I was reading (THE DON) post when I remembered reading something similar from out IT department. Hope you like it :)

1-) When IT says they're coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no problem for us to remember 700 network passwords.

2-) When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

3-) When an IT professional is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts out and expect him to respond immediately. We exist only to serve and are always ready to think about fixing computers.

4-) When an IT professional is at the water cooler or outside having a smoke, ask him a computer question. The only reason why we drink water or smoke at all is to ferret out all those users who don't have email or a telephone line.

5-) Send urgent email ALL IN UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

6-) When you call a helpdesk engineer's direct line rather than the helpdesk number, press 5 to skip the greeting that says he's on holiday for a week, record your message, and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an email straight to the director because no one ever returned your call. You're entitled to common courtesy.

7-) When the photocopier or fax machine doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it, right?

8-) When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE or BUSY SIGNAL message at home, call the helpdesk. We can even fix telephone problems from here.

9-) When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on a chair in IT. Leave no name, no phone number, and no description of the problem. We love a good mystery.

10-) When you have a helpdesk engineer on the phone walking you through changing a setting; read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to DO anything; we just love to hear ourselves talk.

11-) When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.

12-) If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to go around and update the network drivers for yourself and your co-workers. We're grateful for the overtime when we have to stay until 2:30am fixing them.

13-) When you have an IT person fixing your computer at a quarter to one, eat your lunch in his face. We function better when slightly dizzy .

14-) Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". It never bothers us to hear our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

15-) When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem

16-) Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. God forbid somebody else might get a chance to squeeze into the queue.

17-) Your monitor is not your computer damnit!!!!! There is a difference.

18-) You do not save files on your monitor. When something happens to your monitor and we have to switch it out, don't ask us if you are going to lose any important files. The only thing lost will be our sanity.

19-) Yours is not the most important problem in the world, You'll be able to check your email again in 5 minutes. Emails don't have legs, they won't walk away, and they are very patient.

20-) If your son is a student in computer science, have him come in on the weekends and do his projects on your office computer. We'll be there for you when his illegal copy of Visual Basic 6.0 makes your Access database flip out.

21-) When you receive a 30-meg movie file, send it to everyone as a high-priority mail attachment. We've got plenty of disk space and processor capacity on that mail server.



There are like 18 more "smart a$$" comments from our IT helpers. But with these stuff above can you blame them for complaining?