Food for thoughts
I came across this paragraph last night while reading. It made so much sense to me that I decided to keep repeating to myself until it is engraved in my memory.
Here it goes:
I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand the other person. The way in which I have worded this statement may seem strange to you. Is it necessary to permit oneself to understand another? I think it is. Our first reaction to most of the statements (which we hear from other people) is an evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is almost immediately to feel "that's right," or "that's stupid," "that's abnormal," that's unreasonable," "that's incorrect," "that's not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.
by Carl Rogers wrote in his book On Becoming a Person
And that is worth thinking about!
:)
Here it goes:
I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to understand the other person. The way in which I have worded this statement may seem strange to you. Is it necessary to permit oneself to understand another? I think it is. Our first reaction to most of the statements (which we hear from other people) is an evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is almost immediately to feel "that's right," or "that's stupid," "that's abnormal," that's unreasonable," "that's incorrect," "that's not nice." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.
by Carl Rogers wrote in his book On Becoming a Person
And that is worth thinking about!
:)
posted by Unknown @ 10:35 AM
4 Comments:
At 2:12 AM, April 08, 2006,
DiiGMaa said…
Carl Rogers had great things to say in his life time... but what was even more impressive was his humane nature and reflection technique that portrayed an immense empathy towards “others”… so much so that he’d let u say your deepest thoughts without even asking you more than 2 questions…
Great paragraph :)
At 10:40 AM, April 08, 2006,
Unknown said…
diigmaa Welcome !
I can sure bet on it myself. We can say that the world is better off because he lived :)
Thanks again for stopping by you are welcome back anytime ;)
At 3:13 PM, April 10, 2006,
Rimyoleta said…
psssst
tell you a secret!
I DIDN'T GET IT :S
At 9:09 PM, April 10, 2006,
Unknown said…
rimyoleta He was saying that we always tend to evaluate or judge based on our own understanding of what the other person is saying to us. Instead of trying to understand what the other person means by what they have said.
for example: If I say (this woman is crazy) try to understand the why I'm saying she is crazy. Don't automatically condemn what I said or agree with it until you really understand what I mean by saying that she is crazy.
Does it make sense to you now? If not let me know I'll try a different approach ;)
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